A busy mind, a beautiful day and traveling fit my motif perfectly. It's been awhile. It is not my intention to vanish from the blogging and photography world, but I have been trying to prepare myself. By now you, my follows or readers have produced a single impression of me like a violins countermelody. But how well do I really know myself? I have always been pretty easy going, a strong yet humble individual with a big heart yet lack of too much empathy. I have found myself rethinking my paths lately. Why do I always make the wrong turns? I have come to realize that people may not have the intentions that I may preserved they do. Maybe it's God's plan of telling me to breathe, live and find balance.
Recently, I went on a work trip and on my way to the hotel after a full day of training I came across an old chapel and behind that chapel with the cross held high the most beautiful sunset. This last year losing my dad was unimaginable. There isn't a second of every day that I am not thinking of him to the point I have to talk myself out of a breakdown. Being an only child I had come to rely on my parents more than most. My mom is the air I breathe and the ying to my yang. Even though I have been told some think I have a poor me attitude that is truly not what I am perceiving here. I am here to write about happy moments and moments of struggle to maybe help one person that maybe feeling the same way and to see they are not alone. Let me reintroduce myself. I am a believer, I am a healer and I am ME!
As I grow as a blogger and photographer besides being a full time nurse and single mother, I want to reintroduce myself to you, to the world. I hope that I can become a go to resource and as I grow I have definitely developed some growing pains. I am still becoming who I want to be. I am paving a path for my two boys that overcoming anxiety, depression, divorce, grad school, career changes and lost relationships due to the narrow minded curves in the roads. It will be ok. No one looks out for you even the one that promised, you are the only one that needs to look after yourself. I know, it's a sad truth, but along the way of the path you learn more about others that may baffle you or even enrage you. In the end you are all you have!
It all comes down to my path. So which one should I take? As I looked into the sunset and seen such a serenity I reminded myself that my dad didn't get the best life, he dealt with life's cards he was given so differently then I have. In the end, life was cut so short so quickly there was so much I had yet to say to him to give him. When all he did my whole life was love me and support me and in return I need to live the life that he could not. Do not feel sorry for me, I can do this all on my own, but I will take my own time, I will do what I need to do for my boys and I. I will not expect anyone to understand nor will I expect love, compassion or even friendship from the ones that keep me from taking that long narrow curved road. Until next time, find that sunset, take that path and most important do it for you!
Always,
Miranda
Comments